Forget the critics

I have not posted here for a long time.  Work and life get in the way.  I am removing work from the equation, I will have time to return to things that bring me joy. 

A comment I left on a YouTube video inspired this post.  The video was by a young Photographer, lamenting that he finds it difficult to work.  His work is never good enough, the work of others is always better than his. The slightest crimics leave him feeling hopeless.  His days start off with enthusiasm, a fade into  despair as he struggles to find images he thinks others will find value in.   

Oh do I know that feeling.  I started early, in my teens.  I entered a few shows. One still stands out, it was a Cibachrome print, from a slide that I had developed the slide film and made the print in my home darkroom.  I was about 17. The print did okay, but the judge pointed out a spot, a flaw in the image.  I had not noticed.  I was deflated. After high school I tried doing some commercial and advertising work.  I loved the idea, but I spotted every flaw in every job.  It amazed me that people would pay for the work I was doing. It was not bad, but it could always be improved.  I was depressed and I moved on. 

And for the better part of 20 years I took few photos.  Some years none. I missed it, but I didn't miss the stress.  

I started back at one point.  Setting up a small darkroom in an oversized closet, I captured some amazing images. Three prints from that short foray hang next to my desk. Then someone I love commented, that he didn't know why I was working in black and white, when color was so easy. I was shattered, the cameras went back in the bag, the darkroom was converted back to a walk in closet.  

Then I started back, it was the shoulder years, of the transition from film to digital.  I traded a bag full of professional grade cameras and lenses on one easy to use 35mm Nikon.  And I start shooting just for me.  And I enjoyed it.  And I captured some great images.  A decade or so later I move to all digital, with what has grown to be a bag full of Nikons and lenses.  And I shoot 10,000 images a year.  

I shoot what brings me joy, what I find meaning in.  A handful of images each year are amazing, some have real meaning for me.  I shoot what I want to shoot, it may or may not please others, it may or may not be perfect, but it is mine. 

In Iceland last April I photographed an iron docking ring on a pier. worn by decades of use, and still functional, it is an example of art in the everyday essential.  I included it in a photo book I was sharing with family, and someone asked "what is it?" I explained what it was and he commented "why would anyone take a photo of that?" I am older and wiser, I know I took that photo because I find meaning and joy in it.  

Create images that you find meaning or joy in, and fuck the critics.