Am I any good at this?

I vividly remember, exhibiting at Cibachrome print at the Eastern Michigan Fair, back in the mid 1970's. I was so proud of it, because I had printed in my home darkroom.  Cibachrome was absolute cutting edge chemistry, the colors were vivid and alive, and the fact that I had made a few successful prints in a rather rudenmentry home darkroom, I felt was a major success. 

I don't remember what color ribbon it was awarded, but I do remember the judges comment, "did I notice the dust mark on the print?" I hadn't noticed, the print was imperfect. My work was not good enough.  I beat myself up endlessly for showing something what was not perfect. I became a harsh critic of my work, 50 years later I am still the harshest critic of my own work. 

Getting involved with a local arts group, I have started to show my work. I have to push back against my urge to find every flaw in my work. It is not a perfect world. I can always find something that I would do differently. 

I read a book this year on the thefts of the Mona Lisa. It is believed that Da Vinci worked on that portrait for years, that he was decades behind in delivering it to his patron. He worked it, reworked it, trying to work out all of the imperfections. In the end he was probably not fully satisfied with the painting, that has enchanted the world. I feel his pain.